Blog Post 2
What’s in a Name?
My name is Alexandra Butler, a simple girl’s name with a Greek origin. It translates to “defender of mankind” but I don’t believe this defines me. This definition might imply that I am an important figure who protects others. Although I would like that to be true, that is not me. Sure, I can be recognized as an important figure because I am the senior class vice president but couldn’t say that position fulfills that part of my name’s definition. I am named after my mother, Alexandra Lopez-Butler, who wanted to start a tradition of passing our name down in the family. Truly, I like my name and I wouldn’t change it, but I’m not sure as to whether I would continue this new tradition. The pressure of her preference and to decide on my child’s name is something I’d rather put off until I’m older. I am conflicted with this because when I was younger I would see my name in the mail all the time. I would be disappointed that I was the wrong Alexandra to receive any of those letters. Aside from that non-traumatic childhood experience, I think this name ties me back from becoming an independent thinker and individual. I feel I must represent my family but I don’t know how to do that as it causes doubt in myself about my own identity.
In response to Quilden in her essay “The Name is Mine”, I can relate to the idea of having two identities. There is Alexandra and Alex. My nickname is Alex which was first used by my soccer team in fifth grade. I made the transition to referred to as Alex at school by my teachers and peers halfway through junior year. I’d like to think playing soccer and being athletic built up my self-confidence because I was a part of something bigger than myself. On the soccer field, I wasn’t afraid to take on any challenges and embrace the more energetic side of my personality with my teammates. When I didn’t get to play soccer for Millbrook junior year, it was tough. Soccer had been an important aspect in my life and shaped my personality. I was hesitant and scared that I would have to stay Alexandra all the time. She is the smart, studious student who didn’t leave too much time for friends and fun. I’ve received good grades at school and of course, I’m very proud of that but a part of me will always be ashamed of that. I wanted to be and stay as Alex who was the popular sporty girl on the varsity soccer team. To make up for that lost aspect in my life, I stuck with the nickname Alex and incorporated my energetic personality from that to my school life. I am more extroverted at school, allowing me to socialize better and form new friendships easily. Sometimes I feel that if I stay as Alex, I am not being true to myself or towards my peers. This is an internal conflict I struggle with because I want to hold on to the happy memories and everything that sport brought for me. I question how to balance my two identities as this is the last year of high school.
ReplyDeleteI find your comment about Alex versus Alexandra very interesting. I mainly started talking to you last year in history, but I remember you in my freshman year English class. I think you've always been both smart and cool. I don't think that changing your name changed who you were, but I see what you mean. Last year, Cassidy and Tessa started calling me Maddawg, and I definitely felt a different way when they called me by a different name. I never really had a cool nickname before. I mean, some people called me Mady in elementary school, but I was never really fond of the name. I liked my full name because I felt it fit my personality (studious, like you) better. When they started calling me Maddawg, I felt like I was more outgoing. At first, I hated the name. In the middle of last year, Tessa and Cassidy were trying to spread the name and I always felt so embarrassed. A name like that just wasn't me; I'm a shier type of person, so the unique name made me feel as though I was put under a spotlight. I have slowly gotten used to it, and now I embrace it. Isn't it weird how our new nicknames made us feel like different people?
I had no idea that your name meant that, and I think that it's really cool. I found your comparison really interesting, as it was something I' would never have expected you to think about. Personally, I think you're cool despite your name being Alex or Alexandra. Your transition from Alexandra to Alex does kind of show the difference in your personality over the years, considering I've known you since freshman year. While I got the memo, I just stink at remembering differences because you clearly know that I constantly call you Alexandra. I've never realized the impact that nicknames can have on a personality, but now that I think about it, they do shape who you are. I have the nickname of Chaotic Rachel (for reasons that would take too long to explain), and I tried to go by it, but it was way too long and I like my actual name better. However, the nickname very blatantly states that I'm a clutz, so I get to go around and say that I'm a professional at embarrassing myself. I really do think that a nickname shapes who you are, but your real name has an impact on you too, which is cool..
ReplyDeleteI found your blog to be very pleasing to read, if not a little serious. Your name meaning "defender of mankind" is a little fitting for you, though you don't see it in that way. I find that the mood is much brighter and exciting when you're around, so in a way, you do defend and keep peoples spirits up. How you discussed your struggle in your early childhood made me laugh a bit, as I was sometimes called "David" when I was younger. Unfortunately, "David" is also my dad's name, so whenever he got mail I was a little confused. Of course, I wasn't popular enough to get mail anyway so I don't know why I was confused so often.
ReplyDeleteI never had a nickname in high school, so I can't really relate to your last paragraph. I do figure that you put "Alex" and "Alexandra" into two different categories. From my point of view, this is simply not true. I never even knew that "Alex" and "Alexandra" were two different personalities. In the end, there's only one you, and separating that only makes it less genuine. Personally, I enjoy both of your personalities, although I can't tell the difference between the two.